MasConcepts Incorporated

I know I made a post earlier and I’m sorry for another one. I am going to file for Chapter 13 bankruptcy… long story short after this year I expect my overall tax debt to reach near 100k. 14k in credit card debt, 62k in high interest loans, 13k in a student loan.

I did it all to myself. Went exempt for one paycheck to try and cover bills. Then it was simply too tempting for me. Then I started to make a little headway and my credit rose, and I was enjoying disposable income. But my eyes were bigger than my stomach. I got to a point where I was going overdrawn. Being embarrassed from my card being declined, feeling like a terrible father and boyfriend. Then enter the Credit Karma app and all of their loan offers. It’s ridiculously easy… it’s about 3 clicks/taps and you could have tens of thousands in 24 hours. I did that not once, but 4 fucking times. And the kicker- I make good money. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I just couldn’t have freedom so I tried to manufacture it for myself.

Last week I was quite literally suicidal. My parents filed bankruptcy when I was 14 and it changed our lives for the worse and left a lot of trauma for me. I swore I’d never do that and I always thought I’d find a way. The realization that I have no other option made me want to die. Then I talked to an attorney, researched and even used ChatGPT to help research. I felt better and felt like there could be a path forward. I was told to stop paying debt more than 90 days old and I breathed a sigh of relief.

So I tried to do the right thing- I corrected my W4, I had a friend make a budget template for me and I started to make a budget for the next few months. Then it became clear that I’m in the negative WITHOUT paying my debts over 90 days old. I am right back mentally where I was when this started. I feel like there’s no escaping this and it’s my fault. The worst thing is my kids will wind up suffering. I thought I could hide it from them but I don’t think I can. I am broken. In more ways than one